no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
