$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
