are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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