It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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