shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
