Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
