Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
