I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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