She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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