stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
