I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
