I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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