I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
