I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
