did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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