i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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