i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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