My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
