i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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