this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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