It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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