he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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