I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When are your genitals available?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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