YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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