btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
