Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
