Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
