East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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