Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
