there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
