That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
