a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
