Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
