Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
