Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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