it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
