This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
