Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
