maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
vagina is talking i cant
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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