Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
