so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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