just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
