I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
