I can tuck mytits in my pants
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
