all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
