Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
