you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
