Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
