I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
