I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
